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The Author

Jim Burns is president of HomeWord and has written books for parents, youth, and workers. Jim and his wife, Cathy, and their daughters Christy, Rebecca, and Heidi, live in Southern Calif.


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Marriage help

How to Be the Perfect Christian Family

By Jim Burns

CBN.comSo you’re looking for a way to be the “perfect Christian family”, right?

Well, I’ve got news for you – this side of heaven, it’s not going to happen.

Boy . . . this could turn out to be a pretty short feature then. I mean, I’m not perfect – neither is my wife or kids. So what makes me think that I have something to say on the topic?

Well, I don’t – but Scripture does. So let’s look to see what God’s Word says about perfection.

You don’t have to go much further than the Book of Proverbs to find this gem:

“Where there is no counsel, a people fall; but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14)

Now, I know what you might be thinking – “Wait a minute, Jim. Are you suggesting that we let all of our friends, our family, and our in-laws tell us what’s best for our family? Whatever happened to, ‘Too many chefs spoil the broth'?”

Well, there’s a certain measure of credibility to that sentiment. But don’t get too hung up on the multitude part of that verse. Read it again . . . only this time, substitute the word marriage for the word people.

“Where there is no counsel, a marriage falls.”

Get the picture? I’m not of the mind that everyone should be telling you what’s best for your marriage. But, in all honesty, if you don’t at least listen to someone on the outside, you’re headed for trouble.

A true friend will tell you the truth about yourself . . . even when it hurts. I wonder – is there someone in your life who can speak to you openly and honestly about the condition of your marriage? Can you do the same for someone else?

Too many couples in the Church today spend a lot of needless time and energy trying to keep up appearances with their Christian friends in spite of the fact their marriage needs major surgery.

Now, I know that counseling can be a big help. But it’s not always easy to open up to a therapist . . . even a good Christian counselor. That’s why I’d recommend that you and your spouse have a heart-to-heart conversation – just the two of you.

Sit down and discuss your problems . . . even if it’s hard identifying them at first. Then, agree to get a good book on marriage and read it together. Doing so allows you to tap into some pretty incredible “counsel” from men and women God has gifted in this area of restoring crumbling marriages.

It’s going to take time . . . and a lot of hard work. But, in the end, it’ll be worth it!

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Printed by permission of HomeWord.  For additional information on HomeWord, visit or call 800-397-9725.

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